Let me just preface this by offering a sacrifice to the poker gods. I am not worthy, and I bow down to your strength and ability to make crazy things happen.

OK, now on to the game. I entered our Tuesday night game feeling really good about my chances. I've finished in the top four the last three weeks straight, and my bankroll has been steadily climbing. I'm also really limiting my mistakes, and my reads are getting scary.

I started in the lounge, with Andy, Matt, and four total scrubs at my table. I figured as long as I steered clear of the other two, I wouldn't have a problem building my stack. Two of the kids at our table, Tim and Ryan, were Alex the RA's friends. I know Tim, but Ryan was new. Tim made one final table, but overall he's really bad. He literally calls every single blind, even at an eight-handed table, and he'll call a bet with nothing on the flop, even if there's an ace out there and he may be drawing dead. Ryan, the new kid, was one of the worst poker players I've ever seen. He called everything, never raised, and he didn't know all the rules. He never knew when it was his turn to act, and he would bet two dollars into a 50 dollar pot. I was hoping a bolt of lightning came down and smote him before I went crazy. Anyway, somehow, Tim and Ryan got a fair amount of chips after people kept betting into them when they actually had hands, or they had nonsense that they shouldn't have been calling with and it actually panned out.

I took a couple small pots early, nothing really huge at first, but I was going up. At one point i had 4 7 of hearts on the small blind. There were 5 limpers, so I figured I'd pay a dollar to see a nice flop. The flop was 7 4 2. Bingo! I bet out 8 bucks, not even the size of the pot, and everybody folded, including Tim and Ryan. What the hell?? They had to have at least overcards or a straight draw. Oh well, I took all the blinds.

I was in comfortable position when we broke tables, up to about 140 or so, without taking any really big hands. I got carded into Alex's room with another pretty mediocre table. There were some solid players, but Tim and Ryan were still with me. On the other end of the spectrum was Aaron, Ryan, and Godwin, as well as some new kid named Alex to my left.

In about the fifth hand, Aaron came in raising 8 bucks, and I looked down and saw pocket jacks. I raised it another 20, which was immediately called by Alex to my left. Aaron folded, so we were heads up. I had a bad feeling about this hand, as I hadn't seen much of Alex before, but I've seen mediocre players make that instant call when they have rockets before, and that's what I was worried about. The flop came king king 3, and I checked. He bet out 20, a pretty small bet, as if he wanted to get called. I still had aces stuck in my head, plus he could have had a king to kill me, anyway. I got rid of it, and it turned out to be the right play, as Alex did have aces. So that was a good read, otherwise I could have gone broke there. That left me with about 80 bucks, as I had called a raise in one of the first few hands and then hit nothing and folded. The very next hand I picked up ace king on the button, and I came in raising 15 bucks after all the mooks limped. Alex behind me called again, and everyone else folded. The flop came 3 4 6, and Alex checked it to me. I figured if he had anything, he would have bet out here, so I wanted to protect my hand, as I needed this pot. I went all-in for my last 60 or so, and he folded and showed ace king. Haha, it's always funny when there are two guys going at it with the same hand. Anyway, that pot helped me out, and I was back in decent shape.

Up until this point, it's worth noting, Tim and Ryan were still limping on every single pot and calling most raises. That's why I had to raise so big with the ace king to get rid of them. Aaron had taken to calling Ryan "Smiley McCalls" as he would laugh like a doofus and then call everything. I think it fit rather nicely.

A hand came along where Ryan (not the retarded one), came in raising 15, and it was called by Smiley. I had pocket 8's, but I just had a bad feeling about it, so I mucked it. Aaron called the raise, and they saw the flop three-handed. The flop was 8 9 3. Aaron bet out about 15 or so, and Ryan went all-in. Smiley called it, and Aaron showed a 9 and folded. Ryan had queen jack for an inside straight draw, and Smiley had ace 6, for ace high. He is really retarded, but somehow he was a favorite in the hand. Meanwhile, I was feeling sick about folding my 8's. The turn was a ten, giving Ryan a straight and the hand, so good thing I didn't play it.

Five minutes later, I picked up pocket aces. Tim and Smiley limped, as they always do, and I raised it 15 coming in. Tim and Smiley both called, and the flop came 3 5 9. They checked to me, and I didn't want them catching something stupid, so I bet out 30. Tim folded and Smiley called. The turn was a ten, and after Smiley checked, I bet another 30. He called. The river was a ten, and I went all-in. He folded it, probably agonizing over whether his queen high was good enough. This pot really set me up in good position to do some damage.

I folded a hand and stepped out to run to the bathroom, and when I came back, Aaron had lost all his chips to Tim in a nasty pot. Tim had flopped a set of 7s and slowplayed it. Aaron caught his third queen on the turn, but it gave Tim a boat, and he took Aaron out in tenth. This was beautiful, because now I had a real chance to gain on Aaron in the point standings for Player of the Year.

Smiley went out a little bit later, thank god. And I don't want to talk about him anymore.

At this point, we just needed one more player out to head to the final table. Godwin and Alex were the short stacks, while me, Tim, and Ryan had most of the money. Godwin got involved in a pot with Tim where Godwin came in raising and Tim called. The flop was 2 4 7. Godwin went all-in for about 60 bucks, and Tim immediately called. I figured Godwin was in trouble with how quickly Tim called, but I forgot it's Tim. Godwin had pocket 5's, and Tim had ace king. So just to recap, he just called Godwin's shortstacked raise preflop, then called with ace high after the flop. This, ladies and gentlemen, is how idiots play poker. The turn was a blank, and the river was a king, knocking Godwin out. That boy can't catch a break.

We went to the final table in the lounge, where the other four players were Andy, Dan, Pete, and Todd-fag. The first ten hands or so, I became the table captain, raising a lot of hands and taking down a bunch of pots. I quickly went from being a middle stack to being one of the chip leaders. Pete didn't have much, and he was getting blinded down.

On one hand, i had jack 8 on the big blind. Four people limped in, and I checked. The flop came jack jack 5. I checked it, and it checked around to Tim. He bet 20. I called it, and everyone else folded. The turn was a 2. I checked and he checked. The river was an ace. I thought he may have paired up, plus I knew I had the best hand, so I figured I'd throw out a nice little value bet. I bet 30, and Tim called and showed pocket 7s, so that was a nice little pot.

One hand that was great happened between me and Tim again. I picked up ace king of diamonds in first position, and I decided to get sneaky. I limped in, and so did 4 other guys. It went around to Tim, who was on the big blind, and he raised it another 8 bucks, which was the minimum. He'd been doing crap like this all night, just pissing everyone off. I immediately went all-in for another 200 or so. Everyone folded around, and so did Tim. That was a big hand for me, because there was already about 60 bucks in the pot, plus it sent a statement to Tim to stop being retarded. I even said when I went all-in, "I'm all-in, with your stupid raises. Keep trying that." I think the whole table took notice after that.

On my big blind a few hands later, I had king ten. Todd raised it 20, and Tim and I called. The flop was king jack 4. I checked it, knowing Todd was going to throw out a bet, and also knowing I had him beat. He bet 20, and I went all-in, which put him all-in for another 85 or so. He thought about it then called with a pair of jacks, and my kings held up. I'm so glad I knocked out that weasel fag. Every time I see him I want to punch him in the face. Pete shot me a look like, "Way to go," when I did.

At this point, I was feeling great about how I was playing, plus I was controlling the table. Tim was losing all his money by calling every blind, Andy was getting blinded down, Dan had an average stack, Pete was down near nothing, and so was Alex. Ryan had made himself a good amount, and he was at the top with me.

Alex went out soon when he ran into Dan's pocket aces. Pete went out a few minutes later in 6th when he had 9 5 on the bid blind, flopped top pair, and ran into a better kicker from Tim.

Down to 5-handed, I stayed aggressive, raising a lot of pots and stealing a lot of blinds, which were pretty sizeable at 10-20. Maybe my best hand of the night came when I had 6 7 off on the button. It got folded around to me, and I came in raising 40. Dan, the big blind, called it. The flop was ace 10 8. I had an inside straight draw, but I thought I could represent the ace and get Dan off whatever his hand was. He checked, and I bet out 40. He called it. The turn was a 4, giving me a double belly-buster (I love that term), but I still wanted to get him out now. He came out betting 60, and I figured he had an ace and wanted to see where he stood. It sure looked like an information bet, and usually guys will fold if their information bets get raised big. I put him on ace 9. I raised him 100. After thinking for a while, he folded and said, "Ace king is good." He then showed me the ace queen. Wow. I didn't think he was that strong. I figured I could get in his head a little bit, so I turned over my 6 7, which I don't normally do.

Tim went out a little bit later when Ryan busted his pocket kings by hitting two pair with jacks and 3s (The Pete!) on the flop. Tim hadn't raised preflop or anything, so he deserved what he got.

I was the chip leader now, and Ryan was the only one with a comparable stack. He took Andy out a little bit later, and we were down to 3. Dan was the shortstack, but he wasn't in a ton of trouble. The blinds were now at 20-40, so being aggressive was key. After trading blinds back and forth for a little while, Dan came in raising 50. I looked down and saw ace 2 of hearts. I was pretty sure I had the best hand, as most pots were getting raised. I went all-in, hoping he would fold, but figuring I'd be a slight favorite if he was to call. He said, "This is the best thing I'm gonna get all night, so I call," and he flipped over king queen of diamonds. He was getting shortstacked, so I like his call here. He needed to take a chance to double up, and he couldn't figure me to be a big favorite over his hand. The flop was 4 9 jack, so I was good so far, although he had picked up a straight draw, too. The turn was a queen, giving him the lead, and I couldn't hit an ace on the river. This hurt me pretty bad, but I still like the play I made there. I lost almost 300 in that pot, and I was down a bit, but I stayed aggressive and got my stack back up very quickly.

I worked my way back up by raising almost every pot. Ryan raised occasionally, but he mostly sat back, as he had the chip lead. I stole a lot of blinds, and I saw ace 7 on the small blind after Ryan folded. I raised it 50, and Dan called. The flop was 2 3 7, which looked great to me. I bet out 80, and he went all-in. I called, and he showed jack 3. My 7s held up, and I was heads up with Ryan.

This is the same Ryan that I made some disparaging remarks about in an earlier poker diary, so I felt pretty stupid about denigrating his play, especially after he played well in the last couple weeks. I have to say, he's playing some really good poker now.

Anyway, Ryan had the lead, but not by much, so it looked like it would be a good battle. The blinds were 30-60. I raised a bunch of pots, and when he came back over the top, I usually laid it down, so we stayed about even with me taking a lot of small pots and him taking some slightly larger ones. He took a big hand off of me when he flopped a set of 7s against my pair of tens, and then he took another big one when he flopped a straight with ace 5. I had ace 4, giving me top pair and the straight draw, so I paid him off pretty good.

I fought my way back to nearly even, though, and I tried not to raise as much on the small blind, as I was getting hurt when he would trap me after the flop. I limped in with jack ten, and he checked. The flop came jack 7 4. I bet out 80, which was my standard bet. I didn't want to get cute here, but I wanted him to think I was betting just like I always do to steal the pot. He came over the top for another 160, which looked great. At this point I put him on a jack 8 or jack 9. I don't think he would have raised with two pair here, and if he had a better jack he would have raised preflop. I went all-in for another 515, and after thinking about it for a while, he finally called. He showed me jack 9, which meant my read was beautiful. I was a big favorite here, with his only chance being a three-outer or a runner runner straight. Right when the cards were turned over I yelled, "Let the best hand hold up one time!" The turn brought a 9 of diamonds, breaking my heart. I let out some kind of wounded animal cry, probably similar to what Mike Matusow did after the queen fell on the river against him in the World Series. I still had outs, needing a ten or an 8 for a straight on the river, but it was a blank, and Ryan won the tournament.

Ryan definitely played awesome all tournament, avoiding going on tilt (just say no!), and holding back bad Ryan for the most part. I couldn't really have played much better, and I felt like I outplayed everyone in the whole thing. I'm just dying over losing to three-outers over and over again. I'm seriously playing the best poker of my life, but I have no wins to show for it. That's OK, though. This tournament put me in a tie with Aaron for first place in the Player of the Year standings, as well as getting me $30. One of these days, the poker gods will lift their curse on me, and I'll roll off a nasty winning streak.

Quote of the week: "I'm gonna call you Smiley McCalls from now on."- Aaron, to the new kid Ryan.

Terrence's bankroll: $210+$25=$235